awake my soul.

Jonathan Safran Foer (via smited)

(via world-shaker)

i would like to say that it is thoroughly scary that my first year of college is almost gone already. it makes me want to throw up thinking that I’ve been graduated from high school for a year already. 

where the eff has my life gone?

are friends just an ear to listen, or are they supposed to be more than that. are they the kind of people that are supposed to check up on you every once in a while and see how you are doing, or is it a one way street. are friends the people that you laugh with everyday, or the ones that when you think about you laugh at all the memories. do they make you feel your best, or make you want to scream. i feel like i have lost the real definition of a friend amidst all the other bullcrap that is thrown around so easily. 

telling me you’re my bff does not instantly assure that you will even remember to talk to me again next week, or hell.. even tomorrow. as much time and energy as i spent putting into my awesome friend group, i feel like it has lost a lot of the realness that it used to have. some of it is just routine. some of it is just being polite. and a lot less of it is genuine anymore. 

i want the friends that make sure I’m okay. and care about how I’m doing even when i forget to call. i want someone who comes to visit me, and sends me letters. 

and most of all, 

i want my “best” friends to treat me the same as they all treat each other. 

i don’t want to be the one watching from a distance as they get together and be actively involved in each others lives all the time when i can’t even get a measly lame ass text message or social media post.

i want to thank the friends that have stuck with me, and to the ones who didn’t care i will try to mend what is broken, but there are no guarantees to what will happen.

i hope it all works out.

fromeuropewithlove:

Hradcany, Prague, Czech Republic

(Source: Flickr / stevacek)

so, i feel like its been forever since I’ve blogged and i guess i kind of need to update myself just to get some things off my chest and try and let go of some frustrations i have at the moment..
first and foremost and the reason that i even remembered to do this is because of my roommate. over the past semester she has shown me time and time again that she has no plans of being a responsible, respectful person. I’m going to stop myself before i even begin to rant about all the times she’s been extensively annoying and just say that i hope in some way i am at least playing some small part in helping her become a better person. i honestly hope that she makes it through the rest of her years of college, but i know that it will not be easy if she continues the lifestyle she has. it aggravates me to no end knowing that there are so many people that come here and pay all this money to waste it on slacking off, smoking weed, and partying. i just can’t get it through me head how you can watch your grades slip, and skip all your classes and not at least have an idea that you are gonna lose all that money you spent to be here.. but i guess if anything i can say that watching others go down that road has made me even more aware of the fact that it isn’t going to benefit me to do any of those things.

some people think that I’m being a snob, or that I’m traveling on the path of college on my high horse  because i spend my nights with my amazing boyfriend watching tv and studying rather than getting “zip faced”. idk, maybe i am wasting a big part of the “college experience” by not going to parties, but i feel like every time i come home and talk to my parents and family, and even friends from church they reassure me that I’m doing the right thing. and even though austin and i are a minority at this school being little nerds, we’re not really missing out on that much. 

either way, I’m having fun being here with my best friend and boyfriend and i guess as long as i have that, then i don’t need to worry about whether its “normal” or “the cool thing” I’m perfectly fine hanging out with him and watching $2.00 movies on a friday night. 

now that i think about this, i kind of think that this whole blog thing is a way for me to think about how my life is going and make sure that its alright. its lets me put things in perspective. like, if i were on hard drugs and did a post i would realize how bad it sounds to type out and post for whoever to read and want to change that. but anyways…

in a few days i will be celebrating one wonderful year with austin anthony krause.
i know i sound like a 12 year old girl talking about her first love, but he’s amazing and the past year (even though its had its ups and downs) has been one of the best I’ve had in my life. its crazy to think about how different my life would be if i wouldn’t have started talking to him. hell, i could be in my own house, married with a baby for all i know. which is enough to give me a nightmare. but I’m glad i chose the path that i did. I’m glad i chose him. he’s been the best friend a girl could ever ask for. sometimes i think we act more like best friends than we do a couple, but i love that about us. we’re honest, and expect each other to be the best that we can be. we make each other work hard to get better grades, and have better relationships with our friends and family, and honestly i don’t think it can get much better than that.

but i guess i probably should get back to the books..
like i said before I’m not paying all this money to do something else like blog. ;)

<3

(Source: punysgods, via kristentaylorrobinson)

world-shaker:

An outstanding collection of insight from reddit user lnri137. Here’s an excerpt:

You got A’s because you studied or because the classes were easy. You got a B probably because you were so used to understanding things that you didn’t know how to deal with something that didn’t come so easily. I’m guessing that early on you built the cognitive and intellectual tools to rapidly acquire and process new information, but that you’ve relied on those tools so much you never really developed a good set of tools for what to do when those failed. This is what happened to me, but I didn’t figure it out until after I got crushed by my first semester of college. I need to ask you, has anyone ever taken the time to teach you how to study? And separately, have you learned how to study on your own in the absence of a teacher or curriculum? These are the most valuable tools you can acquire because they are the tools you will use to develop more powerful and more insightful tools. It only snowballs from there…

So true.

I just thought I would write about how awesome my trip with Austin to visit my family in north Carolina was.. I had so much fun and I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to see them again. I’ve come to realize how much I used to take for granted and it feels so much better this year to be around people and really get into the Real holiday spirit. I’m so happy that I’ve been blessed with the most amazing and thoughtful boyfriends ever. I couldn’t do it without him. Nighttime. My posts always end abruptly. Whatever. :-{)

Merry Christmas! (Taken with instagram)

(Source: eagleowl, via kristentaylorrobinson)

so, I’m wide awake for some odd reason and have a lot on my mind and figured that now would be a good time to start talking about this past semester and catch everything up to speed on my life.

first off, even though i don’t think i did as well as i could have this semester i like to believe (although i don’t have my final grades) that i did a pretty decent job for my first semester in college. i was walking to go get something to eat between my classes yesterday and realized how much growing up i had to do when i came to college and just how much I’ve matured and changed without even realizing it. even stupid things like ordering my own pizza were so foreign and awkward to me when i was still in high school that its crazy to think that i pretty much have had complete control over the decisions I’ve made in my life for the past couple months. which is kind of exciting and scary and sad all at the same time. i don’t feel any older than i did when i graduated high school, or even when i started high school, but yet i can tell that there are significant changes in the way i act and make decisions and I’m okay with that.. because I’ve been doing pretty good so far.

…and speaking of doing well so far id like to brag a little bit about what I’ve accomplished as far as standing my ground and holding fast to what i believe in… i haven’t let myself stoop down and get into the “party scene” once so far. even though there is constantly alcohol and mentions of people smoking weed and whatnot I’ve never even really wanted to get involved in any of those things, and I’m proud of myself for being able to stick to it. it really hasn’t been easy, but now that i know i can do it.. i think the rest of my college career will be a breeze. but there has been a lot of struggle that comes along with being one of the few who don’t want to do that kind of stuff. until just recently i couldn’t really talk to or relate with my suite mates, or even my roommate because they all judged me because i spent my nights up studying instead of getting wasted. for a while, it was pretty lonely, I’m not going to lie. if didn’t have work to do id just sit in my room bored, and try to find something on tv or browse through things on the computer. i thank God for having austin here with me. i don’t know what i would have done without him. honestly, i might have considered leaving. I’m not usually an emotional person but there were many nights that id be in bed early with all the commotion going on outside my room and id long so bad for someone to just come in and want to talk to me or ask how i was doing. it made me really sad, and sometimes i even cried. finding friends has been really difficult, but now that the girls around me are starting to get to know me without thinking I’m just some super nerd its been better. they still do their thing a lot of the time, and I’m still just “tt’s one roommate” to many of the people here, but its getting better. I’ve found that there are a lot of people here that aren’t willing to give people a chance, and sometimes I’m appalled at their rudeness.. but i can’t be best friends with everyone, and i don’t want to. I’ve learned that i just need to be happy with myself, and allow people that want to be cool with me do just that, and those that have a problem can do their own thing.

i think thats one of the biggest accomplishments I’ve made since I’ve been on my own here at college.. just being happy with myself and what i can do and change and not letting everyone else’s opinions and actions eat at me. I’m more comfortable with myself and know that I’m a pretty cool chick the way i am and its not necessary to lower my standards or change anything about myself to try and please others. before college, and before having met one of the most amazing guys on earth i really didn’t know that. i thought that i needed to be and do what everyone wanted me to do, but now that i make my own decisions I’ve become more of my own person. I’m owning who i am.

the changes over this semester have been dramatic, and I’m very happy with where i am now. i know that God has given me many blessings that have led me where i am now and I’m going to use every one of them to my best advantage. I don’t know exactly what he has in store for me in the future, but i do know that even when i have doubted Him He has never let me down. i wouldn’t be in such a great position if He did. Im excited to see what kind of path i will take, and I hope and I pray that wherever my life takes me that at least two things stay constant: my love for God, and my best friend Austin Anthony Krause by my side.

But, sadly its time for me to venture off and take a little siesta before i have to get up for another amazing day at Akron. Ill post again soon, (:

-xo. 

i would type this all on Facebook but there are entirely too many people that would get offended and/or like my status when they are the ones I’m ranting about in the first place therefore putting me in an awkward situation especially if they comment with some kind of hint that there is a response needed.. and with that said, i shall begin.

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TAKE A MILLION PICTURES OF THEMSELVES.

there, i said it. that is one of my biggest pet peeved. attention hogs. they drive me up the wall. if you are friends with someone on Facebook, then they probably should already know what you look like.. and unless there is some drastic change in your looks, there is no decent reason why you need to take a new picture of yourself every other day and upload them all. you don’t look that different from yesterday, or the day before. and honestly, i don’t really ever want to just sit and look through my news feed and see that 50 new people put 3000 new pictures upend they are all of one person. don’t you have some friends that can join you in your photography session or something? for some reason the whole thing just really bothers me and makes me want to say rude things to people. and i really hate it when the people that are doing it are old enough to know that its annoying.. like if you are in high school or older you should already know the rules. take as many pictures of yourself as you want, just please please please find it within your heart to not post them on social media sites just asking for people to “like” them. if i think your pretty, i don’t need to see a million pictures of you to know it. ill already know it and if i feel the need to tell you i will. otherwise, stop acting like your some kind of model that lives and breathes to get their pictures taken. 

i think i’m done.
if my stupid internet weren’t so slow i would have never had this rant, because my movie would have been loading and i wouldn’t have to rely on Facebook to entertain me while it buffers. (curseyouakroninternet)

now, back to Juno.
 -xo. 

screw that lady in that office that is going to tell me that i can’t be what i want to be.
my parents worked for 18 years telling me that i can, and I’m not going to let one comment one day get me down.
im gonna work my ass off and pull this off.
even if it means surrendering my already lame social life and marrying my work.
im not going to let them win.
i don’t know how I’m going to do it yet, but i have to start figuring it out now.

world-shaker:

I will never understand this about college students.

fromeuropewithlove:

Venice, Italy

(Source: d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net)